a humbling experience...

first let me say, I've never lined up for anything aside from school assembly lines and fastfood order lines. i got my voter's registration without lining up and literally passing 2 blocks worth of people lined up to register. i got my SSS application filed without me going to their office to line up. my TIN number was given to me without me going to their office to file it, simply, someone from my previous work got my TIN number for me. i also dont line up for concerts because i would usually get all-access pass.

but God made me line up for something i want last Sunday. how? I was praying to Him for something I've been wanting to join since college days and His answer was a question I did not expect. He told me, "To get that, are you willing to do something you've never done before?" The word He gave me was the story in the Bible where Peter stepped out of the boat.

so what have I not done before? i pondered on that and kept asking myself. until one day, i noticed a group of people lined up for an ice cream sample booth here at Galleria. and it suddenly dawned on me what I havent done before. I havent lined up for something I want or needed. So I asked myself, "Gillian, are you willing to line up for the audition? it's going to be under the sun, with different kinds of people and attitude."

am I willing to do that just so i can finally audition for MYX VJ search, a contest i've been wanting to join since I was a college student?

sunday morning. I woke up from barely 3 hours of sleep. i wasnt excited about the day but i know it's the day I chose to audition for MYX. so i prepped up, had my make up done by my mom and went out of the house armed with my photos, and 2 valid id's. mind you, the day before that, i've been wondering if they will accept my philhealth ID since they were asking for 2 valid id's with birthdate but the only valid id's that i have are my passport and my philhealth card. that day, as soon as i woke up, God impressed something in my heart. He reminded me of my NBI clearance. i searched for it and lo and behold, it has my birthday on it. so armed with my photos and passport and nbi clearance, i went to ABSCBN.

and i lined up. 

i waited for a few hours and it was freakin hot at that time (audition starts at 10am). i was even asked to wait another hour since my turn falls exactly at the lunch break time. when i entered the interview room, i wasnt nervous. i was far from it. but i wasnt too confident too. i was just, happy. happy to be there. to finally do what i've been wanting to do for years already. the interview was good. when i was asked what kind of music i like, i proudly said "Christian music!". i didnt say that to come of as too spiritual but I said that because it was the first thing that came to mind, and it's my most favorite genre of music now, and that kind of music kept me calm while i was lined up and waiting for my turn. 

i may pass the audition or not, I would still be happy that i got to experience 2 things that day. first, lining up for something I want or needed. and second, I've got to finally do something I've been wanting to do. atleast, i will never get the "what-if" question in my head.

if it's for me, it's for me. God will make sure of that.
if it's not, i know His plans are way better than mine.
atleast, i would not go on with life thinking, "I should have given it a try."