"kung ayaw may dahilan, kung gusto palaging merong paraan"

tonight, i found myself listening to this memorable song that someone sang to me while he was waiting for his flight to doha for a gig. tonight it was raining so hard, just like the first night we went on a date. or should i say, just like most of our dates.

while i said in one of my older blogs that i wont blog about him anymore, pardon me in doing so. yes, this is another blog wherein i mentioned my goliath. or should i say, it is about the song he sang for me and thoughts about relationships related to the song.

the song is tagalog in language. it's title means sleepyhead. i can still remember it clearly. it was june 9, 2009 and he was in the airport, waiting for the whole band to arrive for their scheduled flight bound for doha. he asked me if he can just sing me the song over the phone, before he leaves. i said yes and indeed, he sang me my favorite part of the song. just to give you an idea, here's the lyrics of the song:

iniwan ka na ng eroplano
okay lang baby wag kang magbago
dito ka lang humimbing sa aking piling
antukin

kukupkupin na lang kita
sorry wala ka ng magagawa
mahalin mo na lang ako ng sobra sobra
para patas naman tayo diba

(chorus)sasalubungin natin ang kinabukasan
ng walang takot at walang pangamba
tadhana'y merong trip na makapangyarihan
kung ayaw may dahilan
kung gusto palaging merong paraan

pinaiyak ka ng manghuhula
hindi na raw tayo magkasamang tatanda
buti na lang merong langit na nagtatanggol sa
pag-ibig na pursigido't matiyaga

(chorus)

long as we stand as one
ano man ang ating makabangga
nothing will ever break us
wala talaga as in wala

(chorus)

kung gusto, hahalikan na lang natin
ang kinabukasan ng buong loob
at yayakapin pa
tadhana'y mejo overrated kung minsan
kung ayaw may dahilan
kung gusto palaging merong paraan
gumawa na lang tayo ng paraan
gumawa na lang tayo ng... (baby)
gumawa na lang tayo ng paraan.


the song caught my ears and attention today because it got me thinking of its lines "kung ayaw may dahilan kung gusto palaging merong paraan". let me relate it to relationships. if the person wants to stay, he will stay right? he will move heaven and hell just to stay with you and he will do everything to make you stay as well. but if the person does not want to stay anymore, we cannot move heaven and hell just to make him stay. he will always have a reason to leave and we cannot contend with those reasons.

but what if, just what if, he wanted to stay but there is a being bigger and greater and mightier than him who wants him to stay... AWAY. what if, him leaving wasnt of his own volition but a command from the One who created him... and you. what if it was God, with all His power, might and love for the two of you, who told him, "Son, leave her alone. Leave her in My hands and trust My plans for both of your lives.". would you get mad at God or would you get mad at him?

i did. i got mad at the guy and i made "tampo" to God. pardon me using the tagalog word, it's just that there is no english word that would really suffice for what i meant to say. but then something dawned on me. i got mad at him and blamed him for leaving me but there is always two sides of the coin. i should be mad at myself also.

when i was feeling resentment towards the person, did i ever stop to think all these would not happen had i asked for God's wisdom and discernment? all would have not happened had i waited for God's promise in my life and for my God's best?
most of the time, we only blame the other party for the heartaches they caused us. we dont even stop to think that we too have a part in all of it. yes, they chose to leave us. but we too have a part in the decision they took. it could be because we were already too much to handle, too emotional, too jealous, too immature. too much. or it could be because, it was never really meant to be and we should have seen that right before we even started having feelings for them.

so yes, i may have felt resentment back then for that guy who left without a word of explanation but i too should have felt resentment towards myself for allowing things to happen without being guided by God.

i can never stress this enough. it is important to wait for that one person God has made for you. aside from us being spared emotional pain, we also spare the other party from making painful decisions in their lives. and we also spare their future spouses the emotional pain of having to deal with ex's who wont and cant move on.

moving on: "kung ayaw may dahilan, kung gusto palaging merong paraan." if we really want to move on, we will. because we want to. when we say im having a hard time moving on, that's because a part of us does not want to. we always have reasons like, "I cant move on because we were together for too long" or "i cant move on because i believe he loved me and he still loves me." REASONS. kung ayaw may dahilan... maraming dahilan.






to you Antukin, i hope you have already found the one. :D





<3 4 <3