handsome, rich, famous. for some these are the qualities for a perfect partner. he must be eye-candy so that your friends will envy you, he must also be rich so that he can give you everything that you want in life, and he must also be famous so that you will know everybody and all the right connections. mind you, i almost fell into that group of girls who want those qualities in their perfect match. but after my heart getting broken for the nth time, i have come to realize that my perfect partner does not necessarily have to have those qualities.
thus, i sat down one night with a piece of paper and a ballpen in hand to seriously try to remember what i have always wanted in my soulmate, my perfect partner, my future husband... my God's best.
here's the list that i came up with:
1. a man after God's own heart
2. loves the Lord more than me
3. born-again Christian
4. a good and responsible man who will be able to provide well for our future family
5. will be a good father
6. sweet and romantic
7. emphatic and understanding
8. full of life and love for life
9. faithful and loyal
10. caring
11. cuddly
12. should have a face that is easy on the eyes so that i wouldnt get tired of looking at him
13. intelligent and wise
14. kind-hearted
15. talented; musically inclined (plays the bass and knows how to play the drums, plays the acoustic well and can sing)
16. not easily angered
17. full of good surprises
18. someone i can talk to about anything under the sun
19. someone who will love and accept me for who i am and for who i was
20. someone who will accept my eccentricities
21. someone who will know how to spoil me without going overboard
22. someone i can follow
23. who will love my efforts to sing him a song eventhough im out of tune
24. loves kids
25. wants a big family
26. someone i can beat at basketball
27. someone generous to me and to other people
28. someone who loves to eat
29. someone who loves to take pictures
30. someone who loves looking at the sky and the stars
31. someone who loves films
you see, i may have chosen guys who are all like the traits i have mentioned but there are two non-negotiables on this list. first, the man should be a man after God's own heart and secondly, he must be a born-again christian. i may have everything i would want for in a guy but if he isnt a man after God's own heart and a born-again christian, then i wouldnt have the perfect relationship. you see, you may fall in love with a number of born-again christian men and they may be men after God's own heart but it wont still be the perfect relationship unless God is the author of it.
looking back at the teachings i have heard from church, i couldnt help but wonder, will i ever find that perfect man who should be like this and like that; who shouldnt do this and that. but my perspective of things changed when i met HIM.
or should i say, things changed when i woke up one day telling myself he is one man i can see myself following for the rest of my life. he isnt the most handsome guy i've seen nor is he the richest or the most famous but he is the only guy i saw myself following and submitting to without buts or ifs.
he is rugged in style, with piercings and tattoos (a lot of them actually! and he even wants to add 3 more tattoos! pffffft!) and is the exact opposite of my EXs. you see, most of my EXs are clean looking, boy-next-door type of guys who wouldnt really strike you as someone with inks in their body. but behind those piercings and tattoos is the man that God had created to be mine and mine alone. you see, this man is my God's best. the one God had chosen to love me unconditionally til his dying day, the one God had prepared to be exactly what i need in my lifetime partner, and the one God had promised to be the best.
going back to the list i have created, yes all of those things are in him. he is all that and more. are you familiar with the song "I could not ask for more"? yes, i truly cannot ask for more. he is everything i have ever wanted, everything i have always needed, and everything i have always prayed for.
he is the most patient man i have seen for he puts up with even the brattiest side of me or when im the hardest to understand. he is the most loving man i have been with for he knows that loving me includes loving and accepting everyone i love and that includes every man in my life (friends i have who loves me in a romantic way as well).
he makes it a point to bring me home every night despite of his early morning work sked and aside from the fact that he lives in cainta and i live in navotas - miles apart. he spoils me as much as anyone had never done. proof? i was at his office the previous day and i left my id for a visitor's pass at the guard station at his office building. when i got his laptop already, i went done and walked past the guard without even remembering the visitor's pass and the id. as soon as i noticed it dangling from my bag a few meters away as i was walking towards the mall, i texted him that i forgot to return it. his response was something i didnt expect. he said we will just come back for it later. i was expecting he would tell me as my EXs had done when that happened. they would tell me, "then go back. it's just a few steps away." but he did not. he would spoil me that much for me not to retrace my steps because he feels i might get tired if i do go back alone. who wouldnt fall in love with a man like that?
another proof of him spoiling me much and proof that he loves surprising me happened last Christmas eve. i wasnt feeling well that whole day because i was having bouts of acid in my system and it was getting worse as the hours passed by. i mentioned to him that whenever i was sick when i was a kid, my lolo would always go to downtown manila just to get me my favorite hopia from bakers fair. guess what, at 8pm that day, when he should be home preparing for Noche Buena, he came to my house with a plastic full of fruits and my 2 microwaveable containers of my favorite mongo and diced hopia from bakers fair.
and just about tonight, as we finish 7 days of prayer and fasting with the whole Victory Christian Fellowship church, he handed me a letter while we were waiting for our food. it was just a typical letter. written on something he just found at his desk. but what made it special is the fact that i love traditional written letters and he just gave me one just because. the letter tells me how blessed he feels that God had given me to him.
so did i found my perfect relationship? well let me rephrase that. my perfect relationship has found me. it has found me as it was always meant to be. me being found and not me doing the finding. because women are created to be pursued, to be found by the one man God had created to be the pursuer of her heart.
perfect yes, because it is everything i want and need, and everything i have always prayed to God for. perfect yes, because even though there will be storms along the way, the relationship will still stand strong because we have a loving Father up there who authored the relationship and whose hands will not let go of ours even if we come to that point when we both want to give up. perfect because when two souls are already complete in Christ, God will write for both of you your sweetest song...
so save the date. 12.15.12
For what God had opened, let no man separate.
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