the topic that sunday was about marriage and i was blessed to have heard a preaching from a couple whose blogs serve as inspiration for jeremy and me in terms of our relationship. they may not have a perfect marriage (well who does right?) but we can see that God is really the author and center of their relationship. looking at the notes i wrote that sunday, i cant decide on which topic to blog about. they have so many good points in their preaching that every good point deserves a certain blog. but for this blog post, i would rather focus on the topic INVESTING ON A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE.
according to Ptr. Dennis, and i quote, "Most people invest on a Christian wedding but they forget to invest on a Christian marriage." when i heard this, i couldnt help but agree with a resounding TRUE! most people only plan THE wedding day but most couples fail to plan for what comes next after the wedding - THE MARRIAGE. most couples will spend so much time on planning the wedding day, the pre nuptial photos, the venue whether it be a beach or a garden, the reception, the wedding dress, the entourage and the rings that they forget to invest more time on planning about the marriage. yes, people will remember what the bride wore for that day, what the groom looks like and if he was crying as the bride was walking towards him, how moving their vows are, what the motif was, how was the food, and the venue of the wedding but all of these will fade once the couple starts fighting, starts arguing over every little detail, and once the marriage falls apart only to end up in separation.
let me share with you something Jeremy and i have been doing a lot lately. ever since we started being officially together, we started to discuss things that we think might cause problems for us in the future. we have started to discuss details in our lives we feel like the other should know so that when the time comes that someone outside the relationship would tell of that certain detail in our life, the other wouldnt be surprised and feel dishonored because he/she doesnt know about that. we have also started asking questions about little things that might affect the marriage. one example was when Jeremy asked me if i am particular about the toothpaste tube because he pinches the tube from the middle instead of squeezing the tube from the bottom. i know of certain couples that argue a lot over that matter and I thank God that for me, it doesnt matter where you squeeze the tube just as long as you put it back to where it came from. another thing that we do is we discuss what we would feel and do whenever a certain situation would arise in the marriage. we play the "what if" game so that we would atleast get an idea on how the other reacts on a certain situation. doing this prepares the couple from future misunderstandings and spares the couple from hurt feelings and egos. it is a fact that when 2 people are mad or angry, they tend to say harsh and uncalled for words that hurt the other's feelings. doing the what if game makes it known to you how he/she would feel and think about a certain situation so atleast when that certain situation arises, you already have an information on how he/she would deal with it. with this, you can expect to have less problems to argue about and less times to fight.
speaking of fight, Ptr. Dennis put emphasis on one point of his preaching. He said, FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE, NOT IN YOUR MARRIAGE. when i heard this point, it dawned on me that most couples, married or engaged to be married tends to fight with each other when difficulties arise. both parties tend to put on a warrior's armor. but sadly they became warriors of different kingdoms. fighting. battling with each other. and yes, Jeremy and I are like this at times. well, it seems like we are fighting like that most of the time on that certain week before we heard the preaching. the first time i heard that line from Ptr. Dennis, i got rebuked. that whole week i have put on an armor different from Jeremy's. i was fighting with him from the other side of the field. my walls where as high as the Great Wall of China and the Berlin Wall combined. i wasnt understanding him, i wasnt listening to him. all i can hear is myself telling him he is wrong, he should understand me, and he should be more open-minded. but that shouldnt be the case. it dawned on me upon hearing the line that I shouldnt be fighting against my God's best. i should be fighting with him. it should be ME AND HIM AGAINST THE PROBLEM not ME AGAINST HIM AND THE PROBLEM. if most couples will keep this in mind, then the storms of the relationship will be more bearable. it will spare the couple from heartbreaks, hurt egos and bruised emotions. always remember, your enemy is not your husband or boyfriend. your enemy is the problem and your husband or boyfriend is your team mate, your help mate. when the time comes that you have found your soulmate, your God's best, do not only plan for the perfect wedding but plan to invest on the Godly Christian Marriage.
belated happy hearts day!
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