He was born Paul Jeremy Sauza De Vela Ocampo Cruz on September 22, 1983, a Thursday. Now 28 years after, he is with me and soon to be my husband. Here are 28 things I learned from him for the past 9 months (almost!) we've been together.
1. LORDSHIP. A relationship that is not centered on God and is not under His Lordship is bound to fail. Ours almost did but thanks to the grace of God it did not. God's promise that "What I have opened, no man can close." still stands.
2. DISCIPLESHIP. His relationship with his mentor, Jam Capistrano, never fails to amaze me. They've gone from mere disciple and discipler to brothers. Their relationship inspires me to disciple girls in the same way that they do it. Relational.
3. I AM FRAGILE. I have always thought I am strong, stubborn and independent. Until he came. He taught me how fragile I can be and that I need someone to be there to protect me. He taught me that God designed it that way not for me to rely on Jeremy but for me to rely to God.
4. I DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING. With an Intel i7 of a brain, I've always thought I knew everything. But he taught me that I did not. Yes, I know a lot, but the fact remains that I don't know everything. Hard it is to say, but I'll admit there are things that I dont know of that he knows better than I do.
5. IT IS NOT ONLY WOMEN WHO HAS INTUITION. MEN HAS THAT TOO. Well, I hate it when he's right. Most especially if it's about the men in my life. I used to argue with him when he tells me that a certain friend of mine has feelings for me, only to eat up what I said when the time comes that that guy tells me he likes me.
6. TAMING THE TONGUE. I can really say nasty words whenever I get pissed off or mad. And when I have uttered those words, he gets hurt. Thanks to God's grace and to Jeremy for rebuking me with love, I've been better at holding my tongue.
7. MANIPULATIVE ME. Oh yes you read that right. I am manipulative. Or I tend to be one. That's what he made me realized that day he almost left. Almost. Among all the guys I've been with, no one really bothered enough to tell me what's wrong with me and I almost made a mess of our relationship because I did not know I had those things with me. Most of these guys are either too weak for me or they are a better manipulator than me. Again, thanks to God's grace and Jeremy's love for me, I've been more conscious of my words and actions so that I won't be manipulative towards him again.
8. RESPECT. Respect is the number one need of men. For women it's love. When men feels disrespected, they unconsciously make us feel unloved. Then the cycle goes on and on.
9. HEALING STARTS WITH GOING TO THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM. We cannot solve our problems by just patching up the wound every time we fight. We must tackle it from the root cause.
10. SPENDING TIME WITH GOD IS ESSENTIAL. He noticed that everytime I don't spend time reading the Word and talking to God, my temper just goes off so easily. Since then, I've made it a point to spend time with God even if I am already too tired to do so before I sleep.
11. PRAYER REALLY DOES MAKE MIRACLES. He made it a point to pray for me everyday in the morning when he knows I'm still asleep so that my day would be spared from hurtful words and waking up to the kind of noise I hate so much. Thank God, every time he prays for me, not a single hurtful word comes my way for that day.
12. HE'S A BETTER PHOTOGRAPHER THAN ME, BUT HE SAYS I'M BETTER WITH CREATIVE SHOTS. Okay okay I admit, he is far better in photography than me. He knows the technical terms while I shoot using my feelings. And mind you, I learned some techniques from him! :D
13. WORSHIPING AND PERFORMING SHOULDN'T BE DONE AT THE SAME TIME ON A CHURCH SERVICE. Sad to say, there are a lot of young musicians who volunteer for the music team who doesnt know the difference of worshiping and performing on stage a worship service. They play all the grooves they know, all the guitar riffs they know, use all the effects they have on their guitars just so they'll be called good but they dont realize that they dont play for themselves. they play for God. it's not about them, it's all about God. "mga Kuya, wala kayo sa gig para magpasikat. Nasa stage kayo to lead God's people into worship."
14. GALUNGGONG IS EDIBLE. I don't eat galunggong, haven't really eaten that in my entire life until he came! He taught me that I'll not die and I'll survive if I eat galunggong. And my verdict of it is, well okay. :D
15. WE SHOULD NEVER STOP BELIEVING FOR THE SALVATION OF OUR FAMILY. He prayed for his dad's salvation and one day, his dad just genuinely accepted Christ as His Lord and Savior.
16. WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL WITH OUR ONLINE POSTS. After all that fiasco with the ex, we were both mindful now of what we post on Facebook. Even if it doesnt have anything to do with the ex, we try hard not to post it or atleast phrase it in a way that the ex would not think that it is for her.
17. HE MAY HATE MY PAST BUT HE WILL NEVER HATE ME. That's what he made me feel when I told him everything he should know about me and about my past. He hated the things I did but he never made me feel like he hated me. More so, he made me feel that he loves me more because I told him all about it.
18. I SHOULDN'T GET MAD AT HIM FOR THE THINGS OTHERS DO FOR HIM OR TO HIM. For example, an ex of him does something and it really offended me. He made me realize that I should not take it against him because he cannot control the actions of that person. The next time it happened, I had a hard time controlling my tongue yet by God's grace I was able not to make him feel like I was mad at him or something. Yes I was mad at the ex but not towards him.
19. HE WILL ALWAYS STAY. Everytime doubt enters my heart, he would always make me feel like he's meant to stay and that will never change. He made me realize that he is not like the guys in my past. He chose to stay and he always will.
20. I CAN GET ANYWHERE WITHOUT TAKING A CAB. I've always thought that the only way to Eastwood, Robinsons Metroeast or to their house in Vista Verde from Robinsons Galleria is by taking a cab. He taught me otherwise. Now I know how to commute from those places to anywhere without difficulty.
21. KEEPING SECRETS IS NOT GOOD. We both learned that the hard way. He was keeping something from me about his ex and the talk they had after they broke up a long time ago. I was keeping something from him about my friend JC. But even before we admitted to each other those things, we were both having feelings that the other one is keeping something. And when I already told him about JC, he got so mad he wasnt able to keep his tongue. Since then i promised myself I will tell him everything that is happening even if I knw he'll just get mad.
22. THERE IS ALWAYS TWO SIDES OF A STORY. OR MAYBE 3. My story, his story, and the truth. And somewhere along the way, each version becomes a mess.
23. OVERLOOK. OVERSEE. OVERWHELM. If it's just a petty thing, overlook. If it's not worth fighting over, don't.
24. I SHOULD WEAR VANS OR SNEAKERS AGAIN. It's been a while since the last time I've worn sneakers because most of the guys I've been with before prefer girls who are girly girly and prim and proper wearing all that heels and girly tops. Dont get me wrong, I love dressing up and wearing heels. It's just that sometimes, I crave for the comfort of a sneakers. And mind you, he prefers seeing me with my vans rather than with my heels. Oh what a relief! :D
25. I CAN BE A KID. I cant remember the last time I've loosen up before I met him. I've always been Miss-Prim-and-Proper-won't-be-caught-goofing-around-in-public. But he changed that. I found myself making faces in photos, making weird dances while seated in public transportation, or just plainly act like a kid. I even gave in to the desire to have a piggy-back ride in public! :D
26. MY SATISFACTION AND CONTENTMENT WILL NEVER RELY ON HIM. Only GOD can fill me up and content me.
27. WHOLEHEARTED LOVE. He taught me how to love wholeheartedly. And I am glad that I have never loved anyone as much as I love him. He will be my last, and the one I will love the most.
28. THIS TIME THIS IS FOR REAL. HE LOVES ME MORE THAN HE EVER LOVED ANYONE AND HE WILL NOT LOVE ANY ONE AS MUCH AS HE LOVES ME. Mind you, there are times I doubt that. But whenever I look back at the way our lives have turned out, I know in my heart that when he said that, it is true. And it is for real this time. A lot of guys may have said those words to me before but he made me realize that this time, a guy meant it and he's the only one who was meant to stay.
Belated Happy Birthday to my dearest God's best! I love you much! I pray that you will continue to grow to be the man God wants you to be - a man always after His heart!
P.S. I was only able to blog about this today because we had a busy time last week celebrating his birthday.
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